....promised?

fufilled/broken?

testing testing
*promised on 02.08.2005 at 11:50 p.m.

this is wan lin and hui yiang invading tracy's blog!

ZAP ZAP!!

tracy is a hot babe with a nice body and tan!

phweet!

haha dont kill us trace! bye!
*promised on 23.04.2004 at 8:58 a.m.

this is wanlin and hui yiang invading tracy's blog!

ZAP ZAP!!

tracy says "oh dddeardear!"

tracy has a nice tan and body.

bye tracy1
*promised on 23.04.2004 at 8:56 a.m.

i'm not a lesbain, but my boyyfriend is.

Ijtwpomthfdfy.

you feel that way because you feel obliged to do it. dont, it's me.

i didnt mean to fall for you.

nvm. i'm really use to it.
you really shld just give up and get a life!.! ARGH! i'm a real loser.

PEACE OUT.

speechless thisis my life. accept it.
*promised on 11.04.2004 at 12:56 p.m.

i just wanna make you proud.
but nothng last forever.

WOAH.i feel alienated. drifted from the reality. am i in the reality. it's been ages since i was online. hah everytime i post a new entry i'll always go on abt how long i havent blog or how long i havent been online. slack. this is slack.

dunno wad to post abt cos there is just SO MUCH tt happened tt i shld post. hmm. where shall i start. i feel lazy. dang! ok first of all. yes people i'm still ALIVE!! still kicking. how sad eh. well tt means there wldnt be much peace on earth then. (i sure think highly of myself) kicked up a big fuss over yest. but it's been blown away. shant bother abt it. live an easieer life.

I tried to call your old number But the voice that I heard on the phone I recognized but she told me the number was wrong

ok i shall summarise my present life in three words. (i'm really really really lazy, i shouldnt have started this entry. but now i did and it's all crap.)

BUSY, MONOTONOUS, STAGNANT.
*promised on 22.02.2004 at 9:39 p.m.

havent updated for a super long time. hee.

chinese new year. bored. rotted at home. cousins are over but there was nothing to do. sighz. haha but smt freaking happen when i was at the other house last night. like woooo. haha.

stalkers everywhere

i really hope this is a new year, a new beginning. i really wanna get down to serious stuff this year. not gonna waste this year away. gonna focus on wad i wanna do and be rite at it.

lost it all?!?
eroded away?!?

i hope you are ok. maybe not. it's hard to be ok when so much happened but i'm with you. you are not alone. let's just let the past go and build a new future for ourselves. ok. we can do it.

liberate yourself

*promised on 24.01.2004 at 9:00 p.m.

today was really great!

haha this time i really mean it. no sacarsm intended. anw yep today was great. the gathering/talk was really fufilling. we h ave to have one of those talks more often. weee.

someday we'll know, tt i wasnt the one for you.

random thoughts
you really irk me. i feel sick and i wanna throw up in yer face. i know its horrible but it's only out of court. quit it will you.

sorry

our holidays ending really soon in a twinkling of an eye. the days whiz pass me so fast, it's freaking me out. i'm not really looking forward to school. cos nxt year is serious business, no more fooling ard and i dont think i'm up to it. =S

i wanna turn back time

but YAY!! christmas is coming!!
*promised on 16.12.2003 at 7:26 p.m.

it's wierd cos i dun miss you all as much anymore?

tiffo!! i'm still around. i'm not away!! haha you think i'm away but you are wrong. hahah they'll be back soon. dont worry.

cant wait for everyone to be back so we all can have another gathering. yep but when one comes back one goes again. haiz. nvm at least when school reopens, everyone is reunited agian. but when school reopens tt means though days again!! argh i dun want. i havent even finish my work yet. boohoohoo. hahah.
*promised on 09.12.2003 at 4:41 p.m.

'oops! sorry sorry i didnt ask you. i thought you....'

har-har. nvm.

anw it's been good staying at home these pass few days. when i'm alone, then i only can i think rationally. thought lots and lots. beter i hope. but i'm glad my dad's back safe and sound. haha dunno why it's not as if this was his first time away on a business trip. haha but nvm. i'm glad.

i'll try to give it up.

YAH!! my sis is coming home again!! miss her hell loads. and gotta catch up lots with her. yay yay!!! haha so exciting. looking forward to tt day. hehe.

everything's fading away again

bye then.
*promised on 09.12.2003 at 4:36 p.m.

dunno why but suddenly i feel as though if i dont treasure what i have around me i will lose them really soon. then i am suddenly instilled with this fear. it's really scary. i dunno why i'm suddenly feeling this way. it's as if i'm losing someone close to m.

i hope i am VERY wrong this time.

i dunno why but i suddenly missed you alot and want you back now, please take care of yourself.l love you lots.
*promised on 06.12.2003 at 10:09 p.m.

And I'm glad I crashed the wedding
It's better than regretting
I could have been a loser kid
Who ran away and hid But it's the best thing that I ever did

True love lasts forever
And now we're back together
Its as if he never met her
So we came back
I'm glad I crashed the wedding

*promised on 03.12.2003 at 6:13 p.m.

yoz! havent updated for a super long time. haha lazy. maybe i shld just dump this diary yah. haha but haiz i'm bored now. so here i am.

liberate yourself

lots of things happened lately, from the really inside of me to the OUTSIDE of me. huh?!? i dun get it either. in short, my life is completely changed just be the littlest action of someone.and seriously it's pissing the hell out of me.

i know it's wrong, but if i could i really feel like spamming your diary! but then again i shant resort to this kindda un-glam actions. anw if you dont like get the hell out of my sight!

who am i to say this? i may not be any position to say this anymore. currently, my every move is being spied and my position is being jeopardised by YOU. you like to see me like this? well you must be really happy now. smile!

emotional detachment random thoughts.

why am i like tt today, is really because of all your doings. you happy. LEAVE ME ALONE!

i'm getting sick. sorry. bye.
*promised on 03.12.2003 at 6:01 p.m.

"hey! i really miss talking to you. Can we go out one day? This is like my millionth time asking you. sorry if i sound irritating but i really miss the times."
*promised on 21.11.2003 at 2:22 p.m.

sometimes i wonder whether you really hate me.
the way you talk to me.
the way look at me.
the cold shoulders you gave.
even the way you try to get rid of me.

gosh i sound like a major loser. then why do i stil cling on so tightly to you?!?! beats me.

i duno why i always wallow myslef in self-pity. it doesnt help me, neither does it do any good to the people around me. but i cant hide the fact tt i dont have someone to share my joyous and sad times. i cant hide the fact that my presence is almost invisible to everyone. have any idea how painful tt feels. how painful, stupid and retarded i feel when i try so hard to fit in and ALWAYS get rejected in the end. it feels like SHIT! i really mean shit. damn.
forget it. no one will EVER understand howi feel.

Invisible kid
Never see what he did
Got stuck where he hid
Fallen through the grid

Invisible kid
Got a place of his own
Where he'll never be known
Inward he's grown
*promised on 21.11.2003 at 2:09 p.m.

tt was freaky. =S but the opposite sex one was COMPLETE rubbish!
*promised on 14.11.2003 at 6:05 p.m.

i dont care if you hate me
i dont care if i do not exist in your life.
I DONT CARE!!

but i cant stand it when you start faking around and pretend as if you care. it irks me. think you shld get a life. sick!
*promised on 14.11.2003 at 6:03 p.m.

yeah. i'm used to it already.

looking forward to my new life.
*promised on 13.11.2003 at 5:07 p.m.

(Swing) swing swing from the table of

My heart is crushed by a former love

Can you help me find a way

To carry on again?

Wish cast into the sky

I'm moving on

Sweet beginnings do arise

She knows I was wrong

The notes are old

They bend, they fold

And so do I to a new love

*promised on 13.11.2003 at 5:07 p.m.

the more i think abt it the less i feel out of place?

true? i dunno. but now i'm really friendless. i dread everything. i'm more or less a loner now. i do everything alone and gues wad i enjoy it!! i enjoy being alone and keeping myself entertained?? nvm tt's kindda good.

now i just need someone to go watch wishing stairs with me.
*promised on 13.11.2003 at 5:03 p.m.

i realised we're not the only one. give up?
*promised on 06.11.2003 at 5:40 p.m.

i regret shunning away from you. i know you wont rem me but tt's not the pt. The memories will nv be erased. They mean loads to me. Thanks to you again.

just get very upset when i read abt obs in other pple blogs and everything just flashes back again. i really regret the times when i felt homesick and wanted to come home so eagerly. I didnt give myself a chance to enjoy only thll the last day then i finally released myself form tt thought. Though it was really late, but it's better late then nv. Just hope i learn from this and learn how to treasure every second in my life nxt time. Will there even be a nxt time?

So kiss us and smile for us,
Tell us that you'll never leave
Miss us like you've never done before
Cos we're leaving on a bumpboat,
ODN tknow when we'll be back again.
We really hate to go.

STOP IT!

i hope dont waste this holiday away. Hope to make FULL use of it. I promised you.
*promised on 06.11.2003 at 4:12 p.m.

itching like mad!!!!!!!!
*promised on 05.11.2003 at 7:09 p.m.

guess tt's a life time experience i'll nv forget. it really impacted my life. the only thing i regret is allowing tt thought to engulf me and distracted me form enjoying myself completely. i hope this is not the end. it's not forever. we'll meet soon yah?

you were really a mentor to me and taught me lots. now it's just time for me to wake up to reality. those were past and memories tt are engraved in my heart and mind forever.

mg kurt, now let's put everything down, wake up and face the reality.

so kiss us and smile for us
tell us you'll nv leave
miss us like yoiu've nv done before
cos we're leaving on a bumpboat
dunno when we'll be back again
we really hate to go

i wont give up tt position. i will always rem tt knife story. now tt a knife is thrown to me i'll grab it, no matter how it wld hurt, cos if i dun i will nv know how painful or joyful it is to catch the knife. even if it's painful, the scars will remain there forever and i'll be able learn to from the scars. i wont dodge away.

*promised on 02.11.2003 at 10:35 p.m.

OBS

residenbile
MG KURT
tian tian jie
rodger
i.e
care bear stare
WLL
hello kitty queue
smelly kurt
jetty jump
blue canvas
triple Ds
morning circle
PT
sandflies bites
mozi bites
mopiko
the knife story
animal game
blub blub
giant wizard and dwarf
ti ti ti ti ti
lara craft
eeee bang
the ghost stories
quary
leaving on a bumpboat
*promised on 02.11.2003 at 10:09 p.m.

this really suck. why do i have to put myself in this position. i hate this! i hate this!!

i swear i'll nv lay my feelings on anyone ever AGAIN!!
*promised on 26.10.2003 at 9:23 p.m.

OBS TMRW!!!

excited but as usual we wont be going as a team again. tt's wad really gets me. why cant we just go as a team once and for all. we wldnt even be there to help them and go through their toughest time. i wanna be there for them. ='( i'll miss all of you.

on the brighter note. i'll promise to have fun. i'll look forward to it. =D but you all must not give up hope ok. i'll miss all of you. i'm so gonna miss them. it's gonna be so so wierd without them. =( bleah. nvm it's only five days. we'll be back soon. but i hope i'll enjoy myself. hee.

*promised on 26.10.2003 at 9:11 p.m.

damn it! i hate this feeling.

i really regret it. i regret not studying hard enough and putting in more effort. now i regret, i wanna do my exams all over again. insane rite? but i really regret. what's the point of regretting now, i shld have done smt abt it earlier if i wanna do better. I just hope i've learnt my lesson.

but i really hate the feeling. i feel so bad when i hear abt other results cos i know i could have done better if i put in extra effort.

it's all too late.
*promised on 25.10.2003 at 9:33 p.m.

Which toe are you?

*promised on 24.10.2003 at 8:28 a.m.

it's hard. but wad else can i do?
it's hard to keep everything inside. but that's

the only thing i can do.
it's hard to pretend there isnt anyting. even though there is.
it's hard.
i hate it.
i hate to pretend. but tt's the only thing i can do.
but how long can i last?
*promised on 21.10.2003 at 9:21 p.m.

Running Running as fast as we can
Do you think we'll make it
(Do you think we'll make it)
Running, keep holding my hand
So we don't get separated

*promised on 20.10.2003 at 8:59 p.m.

it's really unfair!!!

life's really unfair. when is it ever fair. good things NV happens to me. i really feel like just giving up on myself. but you're always there pushing me, always giving me tt last breathe to hang in there. but this time it's really different. i cant take it any longer. maybe i shld just go be a *u*.

i wanna give myself a chance but i dun see wad's the point. i get nth out of it, and in the end i only upset myself. wad's the point rite? wad's the point giving myself a chance, one after another, and always facing disappointments. i cant take it any longer. i thought being there would be much better, but it's not. it's neither good to be in both places. wad's the use?

i'm always losing out.

it's ok if it's someone i dunno, but it always have to be my good fren. i feel like a pathertic big time loser. i am really a big time loser.

i've had enough!

i wanna let go. let everything go. i'll probably feel better. i hope i will.

life's not just about that.

This idea feels so familiar,
lost me now I think
Now that I've let go
Cut from all that I've ever known

*promised on 20.10.2003 at 8:17 p.m.

i wanna go town-ing but there's no one to go with. how loser is tt.

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If heart were unbreakable
Then I could tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible

Wait, I already am

argh! i'm really rotting at home.gosh! i'm sucha loser. bleah tt esxplains why i'm online posting crap.

hee but feel quite accomplished after clearing my mail.(gosh! i'm really a loser. person such as me feels accomplished by clearing her mail??) came acorss a couple of really orh.. mails. and some really knocked some sonse into me. wasnt tt bad afterall.. -ponders- wad am i going to do tmrw??

*promised on 18.10.2003 at 8:00 p.m.

dont tell me this is happening again.

Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
Its inevitable... it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me...
Why can't I breathe whenever i think about you

*promised on 17.10.2003 at 7:12 p.m.

I see the sight, with a different light,
Words cannot describe the way I'm feeling,
'Cause I've been searching in my head,
For the words I thought she'd said,
For too long..

nice.
*promised on 17.10.2003 at 7:10 p.m.

i need to go SHOPPING

got my bottom brace on today. and it's yucks and painful. eeeew.. gotta suffer with a metal mouth fer one and half years. yucks. eeew.

today was fun but shagged. feel so bad for always playing you people out but i really cant go. =( sorry. some other day yeah and lyn!!! you played me out. you got me wet alone!!!hee lucky mozi came in with me. peewee. thanx yiang fer your music room!!!

sigh wad am i gonna do tmrw? gosh nv felt so free or maybe havent felt so free for sucha long time. how ironic. i complain when i'm too busy and complain when i 'm too free. i'm such an irritant. -.- teehee.

i'll head for the gym if i've nth else to do.

can you whisper in my ear and let me know it's alright.
*promised on 17.10.2003 at 7:02 p.m.

feel like blogging lkike crazy but i dunno wad to blog! wierd. but i'm rewally excited fer the hols. so many thing's are gonna happen!!! woohooo! nv felt so good for sucha long time already. yoohoho!!

i'm going crazy!!!

hope tt day nv comes.
*promised on 16.10.2003 at 8:34 p.m.

woohoooo!!! there's gonna be so much fun!!
*promised on 16.10.2003 at 8:32 p.m.

i really hope you dont think wad i'm doing is for her. cos it's sick. yucks!
*promised on 16.10.2003 at 9:37 a.m.

teehee! exams are over tt explains why i'm back here again.

this break from 'everything' was kindda a blessing in disguise. i sat down and thought when things doesnt to go my way, and somehow this has helped me to oversome most of wad's happening to me.
opened up my vision, and stop limiting myself to tt radius around me. narrow-minded me. hah actually this feeling is so much better.

hello everyine out there! i'm officially released from prison hahaha!! relieve. but i dun want the results.dreads. anyway those who are not out yet, keep going peeps!!!

hope things will start turning better for the brand new start.

i've long gotten over you.
*promised on 16.10.2003 at 9:15 a.m.

i'm really envious of you all. give you all my blessing and wish you all will last FOREVER!
*promised on 20.09.2003 at 12:53 a.m.

hee.havent updated since i was back. homeworks and exams were thrown at me when i came back. and now it's the exams. it seems never-ending. when will all this stop? i really need a break. help. i dying here. drowning in my books.

I WANNA GET OUTTA THEM!!!

things havent got any better. i thought it did after SO much had happened. it just keeps coming. one after another. almost seemingly out of my control. i need to step on the brakes but i just cant reach it.

sorry abt the previous night. i didnt planned to spill tt out. and futhermore didnt plan to spill it out in sucha bad way. i need to clear it up with you but havent got the time. is tt an excuse? hope not.

i'm missing you badly. all the temptation and stuff is really getting into me. wad can i do when i'm really tempted to do smt?

i have no idea wad i'm trying to say up there. just spilling out everything after an entire night of mugging. somehow i wonder if i am still sane up there.if i ever was. anyway slaters. just pray tt a miracle will happen and the next time i appear here is real soon.
*promised on 20.09.2003 at 12:30 a.m.

fall.
falling.
falling.

break.
breaking.
breaking.

will you be there to catch me?
*promised on 31.08.2003 at 6:23 p.m.

you can do it!

we are all here for you to catch you when you fall. keep working towards it. we all believe you can do it. prove it to everyone tt they are wrong. you have us to lean against ad spill all your sorrows on when you're feeling down.get well soon!
*promised on 31.08.2003 at 6:21 p.m.

I would hate for you to find somebody new
Who you really love
'Cause it would mean losin' you
But I am a fool girl not to say
If I'm always scared
I'll loose you anyway
Somehow somewhere I got to choose
No matter if it's win or loose

I don't wanna be like your brother
I don't wanna be your best friend
I only wanna be your lover
When will this end
If I told you that I wanna be in your life
Than you could be the woman in mine

Can you stop it?!

wad's wrong with you?you think it's funny to play with your own feelings like tt? going on and off?just get off!
*promised on 31.08.2003 at 6:16 p.m.

how am i ever gonna finish the piles and piles of homework?

stressed. i have no idea how i can enjoy my hols. the exams are nearing and i'm still in this wad-the-heck mood. argh! i need motivation. someone push me.

falls.

And at the end of the day remember the days
When we were close to the end
And wonder how we made it through the night
At the end of the day
Remember the way
We stayed so close to the end
We'll remember it was me and you

i really miss the times we all had together.

*promised on 31.08.2003 at 6:07 p.m.

You're of the "I hate school"
breed!
You just hate going to school
and can't stand waking up every day just for
school. But no choice, you just force your way
through school and when the time comes, you
leave the country for other, better education
systems. Bah, at least you have the resources
to do so, you rich/smart bugger!!

Which Stereotypical Singaporean Student Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

*promised on 29.08.2003 at 7:07 p.m.

HELP!

where are you?

i need you.
*promised on 28.08.2003 at 5:31 p.m.

irrrrmyou.
*promised on 28.08.2003 at 5:28 p.m.

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that i'v ever been
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
and sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

*promised on 25.08.2003 at 3:39 p.m.

imu.
*promised on 25.08.2003 at 3:39 p.m.

shagged,drained,tired,exhuasted,dead-beat,burnt
*promised on 24.08.2003 at 5:57 p.m.

it's really obvious.
*promised on 23.08.2003 at 10:42 p.m.

is it worth it to sacrifice a friend for love?

NO. it's a big no. and i will nv. but io dunno why i'm feeling this way. i hate it. i hate.

can you stop it!
*promised on 23.08.2003 at 10:37 p.m.

dad asked me to go out. hah for once he wants me to go out. but i was pondering who can i go out with?

thank goodness my sis is willing to go with me. phew!

wad a saturday!
*promised on 23.08.2003 at 12:38 p.m.

i really do not dare to look for tt someone. why?

is it cos i fear rejection. or is it gonna be an endless journey for me. do i even dare to face the challenges?

coward.
*promised on 23.08.2003 at 12:34 p.m.

future jobs best suited for me:

-waitress. i've seem to be waiting for smt aimless. just waiting and waiting for i-dunno-what.
-bodyguard. i'm following everyone everywhere and plus with tt face of mine who wld wanna mess with the pple i follow.
- a dog my next life. it's better then a bodyguard cos a dog has a best friend.

does tt mean i have to be a dog my nxt life to have a friend?

sorry if this sounds rather stupid.
*promised on 23.08.2003 at 12:26 p.m.

i'll be there for you if you need me.

hah. been breathing out the phrase so casually to everyone. so much so tt i dont even know if i still have a purpose for saying tt.

why?

am i being rejected? ignored? numb.
*promised on 23.08.2003 at 12:03 a.m.

will i become too desperate to want one, so much so that i am not myself.

i fear tt day.hypocrite.
*promised on 22.08.2003 at 8:37 p.m.

maybe it's a bad idea to come back here for good.
*promised on 22.08.2003 at 7:59 p.m.

everyone has their someone whom they can rely on, trust in, catch them when they fall or simply just be by their side whenever they need each other's company but sadly i do not have tt someone. maybe i used to but it was only one-sided. aint i a BIG LOSER? sometimes i dont know wad's the use of living this kindda meaningless life. everyone has a goal and reason to live. me? do i? i can only spell out N-O. i really dunno what is there to life.

is it wrong to love somebody? you can reject someone you dont love but you cant stop that person from loving you.

here is really the only place where i let down the mask i put on daily. sorry if i've scared any of you.

i really admire all of you. when can i find that someone? i need you.
*promised on 22.08.2003 at 7:46 p.m.

why cant pple just be satisfied with wad the have?

sometimes i just hope tt pple who are already perfect would stop asking for more. wad abt pple who yearns to even be the 'e' in perfect? let alone p-e-r-f-e-c-t. dont you think it's demoralizing?

why cant i have what i want? or is it true that what's meant to be yours will be yours? life is just so unfair sometimes.
i'm just a speck of dust compared to everyone else. i'm zilch. nothing. i'm unnoticeable, invisible, transparent.....

help..............
*promised on 22.08.2003 at 7:30 p.m.

My heart is heavy

Heavy like a rock

But I am so amused

You�re still in my thoughts

It�s hard holding you

Loving you, losing you

It�s sad to be true

And be fooled by you

I don�t know (I don�t know)

I gotta know

Should I stay or should I go?
*promised on 21.08.2003 at 8:59 p.m.

and now for the gbk!! haha. so exciting. a brand new diary!
*promised on 21.08.2003 at 7:48 p.m.

a new layout for a brand new me, probably.
*promised on 21.08.2003 at 6:33 p.m.

as you can see my so very outdated diary's screwed, so tt means i have to go layout hunting again. toodloo. back soon. dont worry it wont be a month's time.
*promised on 21.08.2003 at 4:57 p.m.

k it's been long. a really long time. and as usual pretty much had happen but aint enough to spice up my tasteless life. blams! anyway just thought it will be better if i could keep track of the even-so-taseless life in this little diary. hah.

anyhow here are the updates:
-test

-test

-and test!!!

sorry! i told you my life's boring except tt i've made a NEW friend!!! hey tt's a huge catch up for me. points down. look! i'm suppose to be accquainted and i am to ONE new person. haha. anyway i havent updated tt list since last year. *laughs*
*promised on 21.08.2003 at 4:48 p.m.

gosh! havent been here for a really long time. and i said the exact same thing the last time i came. wahahah funny eh? anyway decided to pen my thoughts and feelings down but didnt work out so gotta come back online and do my thing here. woah! feel so alienated from here since the last time i came was a month ago?!?! heeps. this is hilarious man. wad kindda loser am i? blog once a month? a monthly blogger or wad. plak. nvm at least i'm back. and i'm back for good. wait this is bad. if i'm back for good then you peeps are gona read my depressing entries again. sorry. =(
*promised on 21.08.2003 at 4:43 p.m.

this is indeed a great feeling.
*promised on 19.07.2003 at 3:24 p.m.

Gosh! havent been here for a million years. and i almost couldnt rem my password. hah. -laughs- decided to start anew. as in really to get a life and

START ALL OVER AGAIN.

aint tt great i mean i cant believe these are actually coming out of my mouth. yep i agree. i need to take a ground and stand firm. i only realised and got woken up when i read an entry tt really touched me. i dont wanna lose her. and i totally agree with her. lead life the way it is. appreciate it's simplicity. *winks at liz* thx gurl! i just hope tt you've truly accepted me as your friend. one you wld do anything with and pour all your sorrows in. i'm honoured to be tt bottle. :D

lot's happened during the period i was hibernating. i was just plainly hiding in tt stupid hole of mine and nv dare to crawl out of it to look at the world. to look at the reality. the beauty of it. instead i sorrow in myself and coop myself up in self-pity. aint tt pathetic of me.

but i've decided.to take this step.

*clap clap!!*

give me a chance ok :D i wanna be there for you.
*promised on 19.07.2003 at 3:13 p.m.

woah! wad a relieve!
*promised on 14.06.2003 at 11:38 a.m.

maybe i shld just let go wad's not mine, once and for all.
*promised on 10.06.2003 at 7:43 p.m.

you said you treat me as a friend. but look at the way you treat me and your friends, which are most probably mine too, it's totally different. i'm zilch, nothing, zero! compared to them. i'm nowhere near them. i'm your friend too, tt's wad you claim but why cant you give me then same treatment too. dont i deserve some. esp when i'm trying hard too? maybe you are too. then i must say tt i'm not as understanding as you think i am. sorry.
*promised on 10.06.2003 at 7:39 p.m.

I thought everything was going on fine.

i dunno wad happened. maybe it's me which most probably is. i dunno wad to say to you. first time. i dunno wad's rong. i dunno wad to do. i dunno i dunno!!! i really dunno. why why? why does everything always have to turn out like tt. i tot you wld care. i dont even think you read this anymore. i'm outta your life already right? GREAT!??? do you still bother?
*promised on 10.06.2003 at 7:35 p.m.

you trusted me. i felt it!

YES! i did! you trusted me. i feel more secured now. it's an all whole new feeling! i'm sure this time everything's gonna work out. and i wanna watch a movie with you. havent watched one with you for a long time. :D:D yeah.
*promised on 05.06.2003 at 7:13 p.m.

have i told you tt i designed this template for you??

yeah sorry peeps. havent been posting entries the past few days. was busy watching vcds!! and i'm finally done. WAHOOO!!

lots happen and i cant possibly pen everything in here. i've missed out too much. and moreover I'M LAZY!! haha yep anyway it's been tough. remarks, conducts. everything horrid abt me finally hit me. only now. wad a loser. i've decided, i'm going to change, for the better. i'm gonna set a good example and carry out my responsibilities well.

knocks head

wad's gotten into me? if i wanna help to change the class i gotta start from myself. i gotta set the example and be tt influenza. sounds motivating eh? hah i'm determined!! no one's gonna bring me down. and just watch out for the all brand new tracy coming your way. you'll be shock even before you see me. PEEWEE!!!

i gotta constantly remind myself. you gotta help me through ok.
*promised on 05.06.2003 at 7:06 p.m.

are you true??
*promised on 27.05.2003 at 4:36 p.m.

L
E
F
T

O
U
T
i hate this feeling!!!
*promised on 27.05.2003 at 4:24 p.m.

am i POSSESSED or smt? say yes.
*promised on 27.05.2003 at 4:23 p.m.

wad rong did i do?? why do i deserve this kindda treatmeant from you all?? why???!?!?! it really aint fair you know. i HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*promised on 27.05.2003 at 4:19 p.m.

wad's rong with me nowadays?? why do i suck so much?? my life's already screwed up and tt's already bad enough. but i still had to go screw other pple's life. i seriously think i'm better off dead. shld i just end my life?? so tt everyone who's suffering now because of me can have peace???
*promised on 27.05.2003 at 4:17 p.m.

damn! everyone seems to be doing so well for pft except ME!!
*promised on 21.05.2003 at 6:07 p.m.

right now, i'm in the middle of nowhere. neither there nor here. but seriously when i was there, i felt so much better. without all this sorrows, depressing and low self-esteem thoughts would have ever crossed my mind. maybe i shld return to my old normal self eh. no sorrows. no need to worry and be sad if i am unwanted or not. so much better tt way. hah.
*promised on 21.05.2003 at 3:13 p.m.

MAN WHO LOOKS DOWN ON WOMAN OUGHT TO BE ASHAME OF THEMSELF. THEY SHLD BE BANISHED TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*promised on 21.05.2003 at 3:10 p.m.

i look like a lesbian because i dont hang out with guys.
Is tt the misconception most people get of me? it really aint fair. wad can i do if i just have no fate with guys and simply cos i hate them?!?
*promised on 21.05.2003 at 2:59 p.m.

SCREWED UP DAY.
*promised on 20.05.2003 at 7:48 p.m.

is it bad to be attracted to someone by their looks? if no then wad shld i do?
*promised on 20.05.2003 at 7:47 p.m.

it was fun!

think i have an attitude problem. you think so?? dunnno wad was wrong but think i'm seriously sensitive to tt phrase. cant stand it when you all say tt cos you know it's not true and you all are just saying it to make me feel better. but in fact it makes me feel worse. makes me feel like puking. i know you mean well but seriously pls dont say tt phrase to me again. and furthermore you have to go do tt. tt was seriously stupid. it was dumb. i mean it just made me feel worse. i'm liddat tt. i'm unwanted so be tt way. let it be. I am ok with it. Just dont make things worse ok? I know you peeps are trying to make me feel better. But i feel really dumb and retarded. A real retard. Plus i had the oddest dress code. I felt like a fat slob. wadeva.

On a brighter note.

i did have fun. lots of it. hunks everywhere but none for me. wahhahah. i'm like asking the obvious eh? nvm i'm fine with it i'm used to it. :D:D and the girls had great bods!! they all look so great in their two piece. but there were people who looks bad. hehehe. I NEED TO TONE UP MY BOD!!
*promised on 15.05.2003 at 10:11 p.m.

it was fun!

On a brighter note.

but somehow i still feel tt something is still there. if there really is i really hope you'll let it out. pls trust us. somehow i just feel tt it's been really hard on you, and unfair to you. we just bombarded you with all this. if you really cannot take it i really hope you'll rely on us, cos you all are already part of me and it all started cos of us. i really hope tt if there's any unhappiness in you or doubts, you'll open it up and tell us. we are here for you.
*promised on 13.05.2003 at 5:23 p.m.

a brighter note
glad you cleared everything up. really hope everything is fine now. yeaps.
*promised on 13.05.2003 at 5:22 p.m.

the normal group.

the normal group? hah. am i in the normal group?
am i included in the normal group?
WAD IS THE NORMAL GROUP?
lots of doubts just flowed into my head when you mentioned the normal group.why? cos i nv had the assurance before. am i even included in this group? and wad kind of group is this? why do i long to be in it so much???? only becos i seem so attached to all of you. but do you all feel the same way? or you all just wanna reject me or just kick me out.
dont kick me out, i leave you all alone if i really do bring so much pain and unhappiness to you all. sorry.
*promised on 13.05.2003 at 5:14 p.m.

mozi wasn't in school today!!=( partner!

i feel like not going to school and see wad's everyone reaction will be. haiks. ego yeah. but the reaction will be kindda obvious. cant stand myself sometimes. i'm so irritaing and attention seeking. i mean she sure can leave without me. i feel like just leaving her alone. feel like a burden to her. yeah maybe t will do. LEAVE HER ALONE. wait then again not just her but LEAVE EVERYONE ALONE!!!!.
*promised on 10.05.2003 at 6:33 p.m.

i dont like you. tt's my childish self. but why do you all always hafta to be liddat. can you all not be so selfish just for once. can you all just care abt how i feel just for once. you want me in your group. then i'm there trying so hard to fit in and you all makeit seem like you all are rejecting me. do you have any idea wad an idiot i felt like. i dont really care. dunno why i shld kick such a big fuss abt it. i mean i shld have been used to it already wad.
*promised on 10.05.2003 at 1:59 p.m.

Mae i wanted to tell you this long time ago. but didnt find the chance to tell you.hahah

just wanted to tell you tt i really appreciate you as a friend. you probably think i'm crazy to suddenly say alll this to you. but just wanna tell you tt no matter wad happenes i hope tt you'll always be my friend. haha wad happened few days ago, you know wad, i know you were trying to make me feel better. i know and i really appreciate it. i mean know wad you meant. but in anyway if i've offended you i hope you'll forgive me cos i didnt mean to. :D:D sorry. guess i just hafta accept my fate lah. haha i mean it's really fated. kk anywya dont worry too much abt your studies ok. stay chubby and funky. dont lose tt. tt's your trademark. hahah kk still waiting for one day when i can go to your house AND TALK IT OUT!!! heheh yep. you take good good care. love ya.
*promised on 10.05.2003 at 1:59 p.m.

i think i screwed up my chem test. everyone found it ok except me. i'm really gonna fail big time. argh!!! I'M REALLY SCARED. how??

speak for myself
*promised on 08.05.2003 at 7:12 p.m.

dun worry it's not your fault. doesnt mean we arent the same anymore, the problems lies with you. so dont ever blame yourself yar. it's never your fault.
*promised on 07.05.2003 at 6:49 p.m.

now i'm the only one left. when will my turn come?? NEVER!!!
*promised on 07.05.2003 at 6:47 p.m.

didnt mean to leave liddat. i have my reasons.
*promised on 06.05.2003 at 3:44 p.m.

i tot everything wld be back to normal. but i realise tt it really isnt the same anymore. i dunno why? but i really find it hard to open up to you. and the worst it tt i feel uncomfortable when i'm with you. sorry. i dunno.
*promised on 06.05.2003 at 3:43 p.m.

i dunno but i feel tt something is still there. i dunno wad it is but it's something preventing from opening up to you. sometimes i really dunno how much i mean to you? but dont worry it's not gonna repeat itself. i've learnt my lessons and i've learnt to let go things, things which arent meant to be mine i'll let it go. no matter how much it'll hurt.
*promised on 06.05.2003 at 3:40 p.m.

oh man wad's the world coming too? is it a trend to feel rejected? tt was the path i trekked through. it was a difficult path. i completed it but really, i dont wish to see anyone walking through tt path again cos it's not easy to walk out. come out of it. you can do it.
*promised on 04.05.2003 at 5:56 p.m.

ZZzzzZzzZzZZzZzzZzzZZZZzzZzzZZZzZz.............
*promised on 03.05.2003 at 7:51 p.m.

trg seeped the hell outta me. i'm dead beat.
*promised on 03.05.2003 at 7:50 p.m.

oh my! i had this really freaky dream. i dreamt tt my dad died. tt day really wld be the end of the world for me. i was so afraid seriously i didnt dare to wake up. and wad's this dream supose to mean man. so freaky. ARGH!!!! pls hope it's not a curse. blurk. scary. -shivers-
*promised on 03.05.2003 at 10:59 a.m.

are you obliging to me?

are being nice because of the obligations?

if tt's the case, i think i shld let you go if there's so much pain in it.

i dunno wad's rong with me but i really have lot's of doubt cos i wld reluctantly let you go and stay happy and cheerful rather then being you stuck here with the petty me. so much so tt i pity you too. really do yourself and myself a favour, i dun wanna be the one controlling you and holding you down, let go if you raelly cant take me anymore.

sorry.
*promised on 02.05.2003 at 8:32 p.m.

oh i love these quotes. they are so meaningful. when i was upset i just read them over and over again, admiring those pple who came up with it. it's a really great site. visit it.

-I can doubt my friends, but I can believe in our friendship.
You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.
-Friendship is like a popsicle on two sticks, when the friendship breaks, so does the popsicle, making everything a mess.
-When I'm asked what one happy thought is I always say knowing that no matter how big the fight is I will always havea best friend.
-We always thought we'd look back on our tears and laugh, but we never thought we'd look back on our laughter and cry.
-I don't remember how we happened to meet each other. I don't remember who got along with whom first. All I can remember is all of us together...always
-The most beautiful discovery that true friends can make is that they can grow separately without growing apart.

-Truth and tears clear the way to a deep and lasting friendship.
and i pick this out for you cos it's really wad we've all been through.
*promised on 30.04.2003 at 7:55 p.m.

True friends are never apart, maybe in distance, but not in heart.

nada this is for you. :D smile k.
*promised on 30.04.2003 at 7:54 p.m.

i understood myself from this. i do have a really contradicting character.
*promised on 30.04.2003 at 7:52 p.m.

it has been an emotional day for all of us. i wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart. cos truly, you were the one who made me realise the imprtance of life. forgive and forget. you made me realise how imprtant it is to live life to the fullest. take care. we all care. WE LOVE YOU!! msthomas.
*promised on 30.04.2003 at 7:47 p.m.

you cant wait for the other party to take tt step. it wld be all to late. for once put away all the pride, muster all your courage and spit out your words. you wldnt regret it. you have to take tt leap away from your sorrows and carry on with life. tt's wad's life is all abt. tt was just anotoher test which i barely pass. but i learnt my lesson from it. perfect scores doesnt teach you the lifetime experience, only through failures will you understand them even better. yep. pple take tt first step, it'll make an impact in your life.
*promised on 30.04.2003 at 7:43 p.m.

wad can i say. i mean i really dunno when to start. cos it has already become the past. the rock tt i plucked out form my heart, i threw it far, FAR away. doubt i can find it ever agian. there was indeed lot's of grugde to hold on to but also alot of memories to remember. which will in turn, turn the the grudge into just an once upon a nightmare. there was misuderstanding, communication break down and assumptions made. they were the ones who tempted me into my sorrows. until finally, i unlocked the lock in my heart, only till now. lighter? yes of course, ligther.
*promised on 30.04.2003 at 7:38 p.m.

a rainbow after the storms. :D
*promised on 30.04.2003 at 7:37 p.m.

a rainbow appeared from the dusk. tt's the miracle i experienced.
*promised on 30.04.2003 at 7:36 p.m.

I should�ve seen it coming
I should�ve read the signs
Anyway, I guess it�s over

Can�t believe that I�m the fool again
I thought this love would never end
How was I to know
You never told me
Can�t believe that I�m the fool again
And I who thought you were my friend
How was I to know, you never told me.

*promised on 29.04.2003 at 10:29 p.m.

a hi-bye fren asks how u r, that person is probably asking just fer the sake of it.and most pple will respond an "ok" or "fine" to that when its usually not the case.

this is so true. for once jan. hahahha.
*promised on 29.04.2003 at 4:24 p.m.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
my life. full of negatives _______.

*promised on 29.04.2003 at 4:13 p.m.

me and my BLACK BLACK world. ironic me
*promised on 29.04.2003 at 4:08 p.m.

un~~sure~~, un~~stable~~, un~~wanted~~, un~~worthy~~, un~~settled~~, un~~satisfied~~, un~~real~~, un~~motivated~~, un~~loved~~, un~~known~~, un~~important~~, un~~happy~~

tt's wad i am inside. e m p t y .
*promised on 29.04.2003 at 4:03 p.m.

finally done with my layout. :D haha. i love the boys. they are SOOSOSOS cute. yeah anyway tiring day in school. got loads of work to do. haha just realise it's been a looong time since i've been typing a sane, compared to the rest, entry. hardiharhar.

i tell myself tt everyday is a better day. am i deluding myself?
*promised on 29.04.2003 at 4:00 p.m.

hey my new layout. still abit undone. hahah. nice?
*promised on 28.04.2003 at 9:55 p.m.

hey seniors thx for being there. now i know who i can rely on now tt i have no more friends. thx. really fortunate and thankful. :) thx a million.
*promised on 28.04.2003 at 9:27 p.m.

you finally showed your concern. am i suppose to be happy? or pissed tt only up till now did you show me any concern despite saying a million times tt you care?
*promised on 28.04.2003 at 9:24 p.m.

wad do i want? i dunno. i really dunno. why dont you tell me wad you all want. then i can leave you all alone once and for all.
*promised on 28.04.2003 at 9:23 p.m.

tell me wad to do. WAD DO I DO???
*promised on 28.04.2003 at 9:22 p.m.

if you can tell tt i'm upset, do smt abt it dont just say you really care and stuff when you seem so much more happier without me. if tt's the case i'k really leave yuo all alone. wash my hands of you all.although i'm still trying really really hard
*promised on 28.04.2003 at 9:20 p.m.

do you practice witchcraft? why are you so attractive towards everyone. i treally aint fair. i have already lost my friends, i cant afford to lose some more. wadever you're doing pls, i beg of you, spare me let my friends go. they are the only one left there for me. pls dont take them away from me. you've taken away almost everything even my life, my cheerfulness and my laughters. spare me. let them go. pls.....
*promised on 25.04.2003 at 6:32 p.m.

i wont let this affect me at all! and for tt i wanna work really hard and surpass you in everything you do. sorry i 'm just being plain competitive. hah but you seem to be at the advantage eh. i wont give up! i will train hard. real hard to sharpen up my skills. stay away from me!
*promised on 25.04.2003 at 6:31 p.m.

there's nothing much left to say to you. so pardon my ignorance. but i miss tt voice. tt voice tokking to me. though i dun reply but can you still continue tokking to me?
*promised on 25.04.2003 at 6:30 p.m.

the end.
*promised on 22.04.2003 at 3:28 p.m.

i wanna get out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*promised on 22.04.2003 at 3:27 p.m.

will i regret wad i've done? no
*promised on 22.04.2003 at 3:27 p.m.

i wanna play with you.
like how you played with your other friend.
how come i cant? is tt too much?
i miss your companion.
i miss you laughters.
i miss your jokes.

but it's all too late.
you nv include me in your group even when i really wanna be in your grp.
you nv gave me a chance to sit next to you during lessons to enjoy your company.
i nv existed in your world whenever she is around.
isnt two better then one?

you nv accepted me in your group.

although I REALLY REALLY WANT TO. but now it's all to late.

*promised on 22.04.2003 at 3:15 p.m.

i saw you laughing happily together with her.
i could have been there laughing with you together too if all this hadnt happened.
and then i couldnt help but feel an ache in my heart when i shld have been there laughing together happily.
then the tears just flowed
and flowed
and flowed and flowed
I WANNA BE THERE TOO!

is it really hard to include me?i wanna have fun with you too?
have i become invisible to you all?
do i still exist in your world?
even simple lame joke wld make my day.
tt's all i'm asking for. is it too much?
am i breaking you up?
nvm i can tell that you are much happier without me around.
maybe this way's better.
*promised on 22.04.2003 at 3:10 p.m.

when i threw away the starry clip, i untied all the knots in my heart. and really put a full-stop to all my sufferings and pain. i have really given up this time. i dun wanna have anything to do with you anymore. esp when i shed my tears worthlessly for you.

bye......
*promised on 22.04.2003 at 3:08 p.m.

i have so much to say but i dunno where to start from.
*promised on 22.04.2003 at 3:07 p.m.

I CANT SEE MY DIARY!!!
*promised on 21.04.2003 at 10:51 p.m.

[15:18:17] -=pEeKaBoO=..: i say i dont care. but. yea im not ready to

give up this frenship.

[15:18:22] -=pEeKaBoO=..: after all that weve been throught

[15:18:25] -=pEeKaBoO=..: through

[15:18:36] -=pEeKaBoO=..: i can say that ive been through the most

with tracy out of all the frens in mg

wad do i do? feel guilty? feel bad. i deserve a tight slap from myself. -slaps face- cant believe tt before amelia told me this i tot lyn wld badmouth me or smt?? shit i seriously ought to die. -stabs- ARGH!!! i SHLD be banished in HELL!!!!
*promised on 21.04.2003 at 10:44 p.m.

which 5 people do you trust and are open with the most?: nicco nana tiff jas trace

most Caring: nicco nana tracy tiff jas chess gerry bla bla. everyone. :)

was really shocked tt to see my name in tt list. i mean after so much tt happened. so wad do i do now?

Best All Around Person: tracy.

and i think this is really FUNNY!!!
*promised on 21.04.2003 at 10:36 p.m.

this for you.

I never know what the future brings

but I know you are here with me now

We'll make it through

and I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand

If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tells me that I am?
*promised on 19.04.2003 at 2:12 p.m.

it's over.
*promised on 11.01.1970 at 12:49 p.m.

this is the end
*promised on 11.01.1970 at 12:40 p.m.

this is the end of my public diary. i close all doors tt brings me out. even the last door in my heart. i dont wanna have anymore contact with you in my life. hope tis is really the end. sorry i know the truth hurts. it really does hurt.
*promised on 11.01.1970 at 12:27 p.m.

i hope i've done the right thing. this prolly wld means tt there's nth much left. yeah i've given up everything. hope this will all come to an end. the truth does hurts.
*promised on 11.01.1970 at 12:26 p.m.

yeah

i've been living in the your world of lies.
*promised on 11.01.1970 at 11:58 a.m.

i shut my eyes. i close my eyes. yes you can say tt i'm running away from reality but tt's really too much. too much for me to carry it. i cant. running away is the only way.

i dun wanna see tt!!!

i dun wanna see you again!
*promised on 11.01.1970 at 11:44 a.m.

sorry i'm upsetting your friend. wait is she even upset in the first place. i doubt so.
*promised on 11.01.1970 at 11:43 a.m.

do you know HOW much i wanted it??
*promised on 11.01.1970 at 11:42 a.m.

I don't give it up,

I don't give a damn,

what you say about that,

you know I don't give it up,

I don't give a damn,

what you say about that,

(i don't give a damn)

I don't give a damn about you

I won't give it up not for you

I don't give a damn about you

I won't give it up not for you
Avril Lavigne-- I dont give a damn.
*promised on 11.01.1970 at 11:34 a.m.

am i trying too hard?

maybe i shld just give it up.
*promised on 19.04.2003 at 11:31 a.m.

wad's the point of joining smt which you wont enjoy yourself in?
*promised on 17.04.2003 at 7:04 p.m.

two worlds apart.

tt's wad we are.

*promised on 17.04.2003 at 7:02 p.m.

am i the add-in?
am i the third party
am i an out-cast?
am i coming in between you all?

i'm sorry if i am. pls pardon me. i know i have a real pain and attention seeking all my life. sorry
*promised on 17.04.2003 at 6:58 p.m.

haha just came back from town. went with them. ate and then met mae. hahah took neos. and as usual its super UGLY. yeah anyway had fun! weeeeeee!
*promised on 17.04.2003 at 6:52 p.m.

have i wronged you?? tell me tell me. i dunno. i really dunno.
*promised on 14.04.2003 at 4:12 p.m.

i dun wanna act anymore. i quit. i'm not from an acting school! just wanna remind you tt. i wanna quit!!!!
*promised on 14.04.2003 at 4:10 p.m.

you just stabbed me with a knife. not once but many, many time. -cries out loud-

lifes not fair!!
*promised on 14.04.2003 at 4:09 p.m.

wad do you think you are doing?

seek attention, look sympathetic, pitiful? stop acting. no one will pity you. no one will care abt you. they will just ignore you and reject you. Put on a front to tell the whole world you're alright. this way you wont be rejected again.
*promised on 2003-04-13 at 3:23 p.m.

Throes Of Rejection- Pantera

Rejection. Takes life away from eyes.
Rejection. Will give you to the skies.
Rejection. It makes me more than a man.
Rejection. Is drowning what I am.

This is feeding what I am.
It's like salt poured into a deep, infected wound. It's the type of pain you really dig and long for. I've always been
Insecure to open up and show love.
Some pretty girl with Long hair, some bald guy writhing.

Rejection. The kind that's self induced.
jection. The tongue that's bitten through.
Rejection. The nauseating stab.
Rejection. Is feeding what I am.
*promised on 2003-04-13 at 3:21 p.m.

you're such a freaking bitch. i have no idea why i spent so much time, effort and money on you. seriously i GIVE UP!. I'm washing my hands off you!
*promised on 2003-04-13 at 2:37 p.m.

Why cant you just tell me?

Has what i've done for you alll gone to waste. I am trying so hard cant you tell. I'm really sick of rejection.
*promised on 2003-04-13 at 10:46 a.m.

i'm such a failure! failure
*promised on 2003-04-12 at 11:53 p.m.

well i guess i just asked the wrong person to spend my saturday with.
*promised on 2003-04-12 at 8:59 p.m.

i wonder and ponder.
*promised on 2003-04-12 at 8:56 p.m.

was it all lies?
*promised on 2003-04-12 at 8:56 p.m.

Can you stop it? it's not as if it's the first time right? quit it!
*promised on 2003-04-12 at 8:55 p.m.

nvm i'm very used to it already. and i have no right or status to feel the way i am feeling now.
*promised on 2003-04-12 at 8:53 p.m.

Happy happy birthday mei
*promised on 2003-04-12 at 8:45 p.m.

No, you are not beautiful.

just have a feeling tt's for me. hah sorry but maybe i'm being REALLY paranoid.
*promised on 2003-04-12 at 11:10 a.m.

i will remember tt you were the one who pulled me out of this world of my own. i will always remember tt. now it just takes time for it to sink in. this is a wake up call for me. wake up!
*promised on 2003-04-12 at 10:53 a.m.

westlife-- Loneliness knows me by name

Loneliness is always looking for a friend

It found me once and it has been around since then

Loneliness is never waiting by the door

It sweeps right through and it will never be ignored

Why, why was I chosen?

Why am I left without?

Loneliness knows everything I keep inside

My endless thoughts in the silence of the night

Loneliness is the one who made me see

Aint nobody else who can make a change but me

this sounds so real. so much so tt it sent shivers down my spine.
*promised on 2003-04-12 at 10:51 a.m.

i'm really afraid i'll curved away from my path.
*promised on 2003-04-11 at 9:11 p.m.

un~~wanted~~.
*promised on 2003-04-11 at 9:05 p.m.

old people are just young people inside old bodies.

haha saw this old lady wearing a shirt with the above phrase on it. cool yeah. think tt old lady rocks!!!! hahha
*promised on 2003-04-10 at 10:32 p.m.

old people are just young people inside old bodies.

haha saw this old lady wearing a shirt with the above phrase on it. cool yeah. think tt old lady rocks!!!! hahha
*promised on 2003-04-10 at 10:32 p.m.

wierd wierd wierd.
*promised on 2003-04-08 at 8:19 p.m.

yeah. com is finally working again. yep happy. hhaha but there's so much homework to do!! argh! hate them to the core man. hahaha anyway yesterday was fun. hahah. thx pple really really appreciated it. thx a million pple. you rock my world!
*promised on 2003-04-08 at 7:58 p.m.

haha yeah i did some physical today. so proud proud of myself, nana and lyn. hahha somemore on wed.
*promised on 2003-04-07 at 4:32 p.m.

green eyes.
*promised on 2003-04-07 at 4:32 p.m.

i think i seriously shld GET A LIFE!!!

i been addicted to neopets -everybody laughs- and gets so excited over cheap thrills. wasting loads of precious time on the com, neglecting my work.

GET ON TO YOUR BOOKS!!!
*promised on 2003-04-05 at 9:36 p.m.

how fake can pple get sometimes. maybe i'm just prejudice.
*promised on 2003-04-03 at 6:12 p.m.

gerry.

i'll rite it here since you cant access gbk.

hey i dunno wad to say but i know it really suck. sorry we made you feel this way. but i kindda feel the same way you are feeling but in a different scenario. i try hard to get pple's attention too. but to no avail. so wad if i go out with them but i dont have fun rite? it suck this way too. and when i tok no one listens to me. tt's why sometimes i ask myself wad's the point of tokking when no ones listenns to you. i get really tired of trying so hard you know. i dunno if you feel the same way as i do or probably even worse. but either way it's still suck. but one thing i ca reassure you is tt you are one of us. this grp tt nv breaks. you are one of us. and it wld be really wierd if you're out of it. you are really someone significant to us. you are our support. let me tell you smt truthfully. you are someone really impt to us. though sometimes we leave you out we really didnt mean it. but guess there's no excuse to it. i do feel bad sometimes cos tt feeling really suck. i glad sometimes you wld ask us why we left you out cos it shows tt you still wanna be part of us. but i know it gets tiring but gerry i really hope you wldnt hold it against us. we promise it wldnt happen again. sorry. know saying sorry wldnt work and actions speak louder then words. just hope you're feeling better now. schmilez like crazy k. :)
*promised on 2003-04-02 at 6:10 p.m.

Normal

Whenever other people are bored, they call you up.
either just to talk it up or to go some where
and do some major damage to something.
sometimes your their, sometimes your not. your
the type of person that make up the most part
of the friend populace. your like the
friendship without all the other shit, never
having to worry about anyone's problems but
your own.

*promised on 2003-04-02 at 5:26 p.m.

i live a pathetic and boring life. i need to spice it up. wasnt even spicy yesterday. heck!
*promised on 2003-04-02 at 5:03 p.m.

i can do it!!!!
*promised on 2003-04-02 at 5:01 p.m.

nana thx for calling me. nv tot anyone wld care abt this. really glad to know tt you were there for me. thx a million. hopefully i'll clear it soon. pray for me k. and dont worry too much abt tt k. it'll be fine. i'm sure she understands k. smile.
*promised on 2003-04-02 at 4:56 p.m.

shucks. my mom confiscated my card. she said i spent too much. i agree. actually i prefer it this way, like tt i wont be so tempted to buy stuff. i ought to be punished. haiz. this is my punishment lah. she said if i wanna buy things then can i only ask her formy card. haiz. hope this wld save me from my temptetion. blessing in disguise?
*promised on 2003-04-02 at 4:53 p.m.

if this is wad you long for then go for it!!!!
*promised on 2003-04-01 at 12:17 p.m.

all the best.
*promised on 2003-04-01 at 12:16 p.m.

"you are so gonna disappoint yourself"
*promised on 2003-04-01 at 12:16 p.m.

*promised on 2003-03-31 at 6:10 p.m.

i feel really out of place. extra. i dont feel as if i belong to tt place. alienated.
*promised on 2003-03-31 at 5:54 p.m.

happy birthday liz and meixi.

happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happry birthday to you happy birthday to you.

a year older a year wiser. hahahha. tt better be true. anyway have a blessed b'dae and have loads of fun!!!!

yeah!!!
*promised on 2003-03-31 at 5:44 p.m.

life just get so wierd sometimes.

and even i find it funny.
*promised on 2003-03-31 at 5:22 p.m.

i dont like you people's company. i really dont like it. so wad if you all are the more popular bunch. i dont wad all these uneasy wierd feelings in me when i mix with you all. i really dont enjoy it. not even a bit of it.
*promised on 2003-03-31 at 5:01 p.m.

attention seeking, egoistic and irritating bitch all discribes me. me. ME!
*promised on 2003-03-31 at 4:59 p.m.

dont know if you know this is for you. but yeah it's for you.

dunno wad happened lately but have really drifted away from you. dont even know if you have noticed it but i can and i am really concerned.

still remember how it all started. and i kindda regretted being tt way. sorry. but guess tt doesnt turn back time. and it's of no use. i really hope we can be like last time. joke and laugh together at each other loser moments. but i'm not noticeable these few days. feel really small when i am with you all. but hell i'm kinda used to it. i mean this is the kind of life i been living with ever since the year started. maybe tt explains my attention-seekiness in me. try so hard to get you all attention but all to no avail. i hate myself and my life. but i hope you read this and know tt i still care abt this friendship. i really treasure it.
*promised on 2003-03-31 at 4:52 p.m.

sorry i sorta irritated you today.

at least i could tell.

but am sure you dont really like me.

hell. know wad i cant really be bothered.

cos we are from two different worlds.

cant be worked out.

nice knowing you though.
*promised on 2003-03-31 at 4:47 p.m.

i am damn irritating!!!!
*promised on 2003-03-31 at 4:46 p.m.

arh!!! i better go do my physical.

stop laying aroundand grow fat.

arh!!! otherwise i wont be able to fit into the clothes i bought.

ARGH!!!

cant stand myself. fat ass.
*promised on 2003-03-30 at 7:40 p.m.

yeah i'm so happy today.

i bought three tops.

a stussy one from splash babes, a y-back top from daytripper and the third one not really a top top. it's kindda long. haha from far east. wah spent alot man.

now there's a huge hole in my pocket man. arh. pain. heheh.

anyway feel quite bad. amelia just walked around and around with us. think tt's how my father feels when i go shopping with my mom. ahhahaha.

thx anyway.

lardidar.

legs are aching from the walking.
*promised on 2003-03-30 at 7:32 p.m.

hahaha. i change my diary format.

now's the weblog form.

think it looks better like this.

but this means i gotta post more entries.

arahhahah

this is wad happens when a person gets too bored.

likely hood tt the person will turn insane soon.
*promised on 2003-03-29 at 8:10 p.m.

haiz. i'm so bored.

there's practically nth to do now.
*promised on 2003-03-29 at 8:08 p.m.

shit think i screwed things up.

OH SHIT!

so wad if i continue shitting now. it wont turn back time.

screw myself.

ack!

sorry.
*promised on 2003-03-29 at 6:46 p.m.